Praising Jesus again

If you are a friend of mine checking this out, you already know about my brother, Dennis. My life this last year has always seemed to come back around to this topic, whether good or bad, in celebration or frustration. A little family background (if you know it feel free to skip down): My brother & I were raised in a home free of religion. My family never went to any sort of church but my Mother always allowed us to go with friends if we wanted. It was through one such occasion where I began going to church & accepted Christ as a child at South Baptist Church. My brother came occasionally, but more often when we were a little older & switched over to Capital City Baptist because of yet another friend connection. It was at this church that Dennis said a prayer accepting Christ as Savior. I was so excited because I had saw him start to head down a dangerous path, but I saw quickly that there did not appear to be an honest repentance of sin in his life. I of course cannot judge his salvation, but there was no fruit and the whole "behold all things become new" was certainly not evident, rather just the opposite was true.

My Father, always seemed to feel his responsibility within our family began & ended with his GM paycheck. I can recall my Dad doing little with me growing up & even less with Dennis. He was not kind, but I know we both strongly wanted a connection with him. He was not an alcoholic in the traditional sense, but he spent many hours everyday in the shop bar. In many ways I have always felt he chose that bar over us. He got off work at 6:30 a.m and instead of coming home to bed so he could wake up in time to spend time with us, he went to the bar until 1:00pm. Because he came home so late he could never awake until around 9:00pm, leaving just enough time to dress, eat & leave for work before 10:00. He also worked as many weekends as were offered. I lost out because of a lack of interest on my Dad's part, but my brother did more so.

I was diagnosed with bone cancer when I was 16 & relied heavily on my Mom during my year of chemo. I was adamant that she almost never leave my side. She slept in the fold out chair beds at U of M. If I would've known what impact having an emotionally absent Father & a physically absent Mother would have on Dennis I like to think I would've forced myself to be less needy. By the time I finished chemo, Dennis was already slipping into drugs & alcohol. He was 14.

A little more than 2 years ago Dennis attempted suicide. He was in a dark place after his girlfriend leaving him & taking their 3 year old little girl with her to Florida. I believe their lives were in danger here due to the dangerous circumstances he put them in revolving around the drug world. Crack-cocaine will make a man do things he never thought he would.

After Thanksgiving last year he went to jail. He was looking at up to 2 years (if I am remembering correctly). I went to see him day after Christmas to visit him & give him a little money (do my "penance") & was surprised when the officer called me back from the visiting area and said Dennis was being released. Sure enough he was out in the parking lot. We had thought about taking him in the year before but heeded advice not to. This time the Lord said to both Trevor & I that it was time. It was either take him home now (when I knew he had 30 "clean" days) or drop him off at the homeless shelter, he had no other place to go. He lived with us for 2 very stressful months. He got very involved in Narcotics Anonymous (NA), which has given him a lot of connection. Since his time with us he has lived in a half way house of sorts & with different friends he has met in the program. He has fallen a couple of times and continues to struggle. He has worked with Trevor & Mike over the last year when they could use him and Trevor has forged a strong relationship with him. We have been picking him up for church whenever he would agree to come and over the last couple of months Trev has been picking him up at 5:30 every Wednesday morning for Men's Fraternity, which is a men's Bible Study of sorts that meets at our church.

All that to say that this morning Dennis prayed to accept Christ. We have been praying for this, obviously, but especially these last couple of weeks has it been on Trevor's heart. The Men's fraternity program has been leading the guys from the sin & depravity of man the last couple of weeks to the solution (Christ) this week. The leader of the group, Steve, had the opportunity to talk with Dennis this morning. I do not know the particulars, but please pray with us that this decision of his today is the beginning of a beautiful, strong relationship with Christ. I have always thought that if Dennis would truly surrender his life to Christ, he could have the most amazing testimony & help so many. I told Dennis this 2 weeks ago when I drove him home from church. I also shared that while NA is great & will power is great, we are fallible & he will continue to fall into drugs & alcohol if he relies on things that are fallible. To put his hope in Christ, the only infallible one is the only way. With Christ all things are possible.

I am rejoicing this morning, but my own lack of faith wants me to be cautious. I have prayed so long, did God really answer one of my longest sought after prayers this morning? And when will He answer to prayers for the rest of my family? I have hope for I know that nothing is impossible with Christ.

If you are a fellow believer, please continue to pray alongside us for Dennis. If you are not a believer, may you reconsider your own eternity. There is a God who loves you enough that He sent His only Son to be the payment for your sin. He wants to enter into a covenant relationship with you.